I heard somewhere that if a dog is being absolutely insubordinate that you should hold them down until they submit to you. This isn't always appropriate or necessary. I've only made it work with Jack twice. Both times I was in a calm mood and he was tired. Usually, he will tirelessly fight.One night the taxmen and bill collectors were at my gate, the homework had piled up, and I was at my wit's end. Jack was not being particularly obnoxious. We were in my room with the door shut and I was reading a weighty text. He was chewing on stuff he shouldn't, but he'd stop when I snapped at him. He'd try to take my pencils while I was writing, but he'd walk away when I growled at him. He started digging at my bed and I was done with his crap. I wanted him calm.
I went over and swept his legs out from under him. Before he could recover, I put my hand gently on his chest and held him down. He started nipping at my hand, so I held his face and chest down. Naturally, he started fighting. He clawed at my arms and wiggled like a fish on the shore. He was always on the verge of escape. I was constantly shifting my grip.
My frustration mounted as our battle raged on. He was incessant; moving like an angry snake, growling like a Harley, biting and scratching like a one-man cat fight. I found myself yelling, "CALM DOWN," between biting my lips to keep my anger "contained." My grips grew tighter and tighter. Our ferocity mounted together. Then I had a clear moment.
I looked down at his gaping jaw and wild eyes. His ears were straight up. I could taste blood from where I been biting my the inside of my mouth. There was a tiny thunderstorm erupting from his little neck, which I was clenching like a vice. I realized my own rolling rumble and I realized: This dog is not fighting for dominance. This dog is fighting for his life.
I picked him up, put him in his kennel, and walked away to calm down. I felt like the worst person alive. I figured myself a vicious, abusive jerk. I thought about returning him, conjuring that I was a danger to this delightful dog.

A friend of mine had invited me to do a trance-type meditation that evening and I resolved to go. Apparently, I needed it. Before I left, I opened Jack's cage door and sat in front of it. He lay there, looking up at me. He was no longer panting. His curled tail lay flat. His ears flopped forward. His gaping maw had transformed back to his beloved fox-face.
"I know that was not okay," I told him, "and we will never go there again."
He licked my face and laid back down.
Later, between meditative crests, I realized we both have raging beasts within and those beasts had met that night. I've always been controlling. I've always been moody. I'm occasionally explosive. "Sleeping Dragon," close friends have called me. I don't know Jack's history, but since he was a stray, he must have had to scrap a time or two. His little beast comes out when we play tug of war or when he plays with his sock, which resembles a small animal. He's already caught a mouse and a bird. Despite how adorable he is, I have no doubt that he is a predator.
We were made for each other. At least, I like to think so. During one of the meditative crests, I saw his war face reaching toward me from the void. As it reached for me, a red flag with white designs filled in the background. Crossbones appeared behind his face. Each time I inhaled felt like my first and as I breathed, this image of him etched itself over my heart. Giving him away would not be giving up on him. It would be giving up on myself.

We beasts shall live together.
Command over myself is command over Jack.
Jack demands gold.






